solitary-confinement.com - v.10

Obsession of the Moment

I have come to the conclusion that I have an obsessive personality. I get completely fixated, obsessed, and crazy about something/someone/whatever and dedicate myself to it. So I am creating a page to celebrate the fucked up personality flaw that so endears me to...um...myself.
So from Sailor Moon days of yore, to SF now, and everything in between, this will be my little shrine to the uniquely Josie - Obsession of the Moment. Yay!

Obsession: LOTRO November 2007

Mark and I played NWN for - literally - years. And had fun. Really, we did. But times changed, the sequel emerged as a big, flaming pile of Poo and we needed something new. Now, once upon a time, a younger Pheenie played Dark Age of Camelot (an MMORPG) and loved it. LOVED it. However, it was long dead by the time Mark and I went looking for something new, so we were forced to shop around. Tried DDO (Dungeons & Dragons Online) and hated it. Refused WoW (World of Warcraft) on principle. Couldn't see shelling out money for all seventy-five expansions for DAoC, even though I knew I had liked it in the past. So - what were we left with? Oh yeah, Lord of the Rings Online.
My boy is a big ol' Tolkien fan from way back. I've listened to he and Ralph discuss the finer points of the extensive lore for hours in the past. But I've never gotten around (or been able to afford to buy the collection) to reading them all (yes - I know, what kind of self-respecting nerd hasn't read LOTR?). I was leary. But the game is so incredible, from the lore to the lush landscapes, to the fun fellowship trials. And its not the mindless grind you expect from these old-school MMOs...where all you do for hours is 'farm' by killing monsters over and over and over. A quest-driven MMO, like LOTRO, does involve lots of monster-bashing, yes, but most of your XP comes from completing stories.
Because we've played SO much in the two or three months we've had it, I had to qualify this as an obsession. Neither of us are to level 50 yet - because its not the destination in this game... it really is the journey.

Mini-Obsession: Firefly August 2007

As many of you knew long before I did, Joss Whedon is a peculiar kind of genius. Buffy captured my little Josie heart in a way nothing should have, and when it was over (well, the DvD collect Jasmine lent me when they lived with us this spring) I was sad. Well, I saw and loved the movie Serenity, but never watched the show associated with it. That little problem has now been fixed. Mark and I rented the discs via Netflix and I must say that if I had watched it when it was on - I would have died knowing it ended with so many unanswered questions. I loved it so much. The writing was crisp and funny, the characters were whole and loveable, and damn it - Joss Whedon I <3 you! When did I become such a fan-girl? Oh yeah, 1997...May. When the Internet opened for me ;)

Fanlistings May 2007

As this very page is tribute to, I have an obsessive personality and the whole internet is made for me. I am a very, very, very late comer to these silly things - the premise is so simple - but I'm feeling an addiction build up. I want to own some. I want to join more. The first I joined was Alyson Hannigan, then Willow, and so on and so forth. Now I've got twenty and as soon as I have time to jump around, I'm sure I'll find more. Oooh! I absolutely need to find one for my first obsession on this page - Bowling for Soup! Or make one! *rubs hands together evilly* Yay!

Whoreson Most of 2006

I have always loved Fantasy novels. The more epic, the better, in my eyes. I hope Whoreson, which I fear to write about anywhere online, will one day be something epic. I even went so far as to buy a crappy old laptop off Ebay and now I carry it to work each day (plug it in at my desk, cuz the battery only holds power for about an hour) and type during my breaks. Hells, one night I had to pick up Mark after work and he got delayed for two hours, so I spent the time in the Wendy's next door, laptop plugged in, typing and typing... Mm. There are some characters I love, and I have a lot of the plot fleshed out already (rare for me) so I think its go potential.

Writing a Screenplay 11.2006

There's never been a story quite precisely like the one Mark and I have collaborated on. There will be gore and lust and killing and kissing and even Shaun of the Dead will have nothing on us ;) Mm. Its been fun so far, just learning the format and getting the dialog going. His poor, sweet, Christian mother was HILARIOUS (and had some great ideas) when Mark started talking the nitty-gritty details over a quiet night out for steak... I can't wait to see how this project progresses!

Building a Mod for NWN 6.05.2005

Honestly, this is a brand new obsession, but it is definately 'of the moment' and I am definately preoccupied with it. From constant playing NWN to constant building of a new world, a new mod. Originally Emy, Mark and I were going to join forces with Wolfie, Fire Water, and co., but that plan has been scrapped, it seems.
Instead, 'the Whiteoak Arms' my big, beautiful boarding house (featuring Shalisa Whiteoak as the proprietess, her half-dark elf daughter Niveah as the barmaid, and Shal's second husband A'traiylu the dark elf as the mysterious man downstairs) will be added to Emy's Northern Frontiers mod.
I've got the house itself, three levels, a quest, three merchants, the passages beneath the house that lead to the Settlement, an area beyond it with Illithids and a second quest, and I think that's it. After a week of building and experimenting and failing and succeeding...that's it. Four completed areas. Minus the encounters because I need to fix my custom shit first.

Mini-Obsession: Beth Hart 6.05.2005

I call Beth a mini-obsession because she's also a new and unestablished obsession. However, two weeks ago I was at Tim's and he made me watch a bit of her dvd Live at the Paradiso. She has such soul, and such incredible songwriting. I call her a new obsession because after hearing two tracks of the dvd, I went home, ordered it off ebay, and watched it twice today.
I seen myself with a dirty face,
I cut my luck with a dirty ace
I leave the light on
I went from zero to minus ten
I drank your wine then
I stole your man
I leave the light on,
I leave that light on.

Daddy ain't that bad he just plays rough
I ain't that scarred when I'm covered up
I leave the light on
Little girl hiding underneath the bed was it something I did
Must be something I said
I leave the light on, better leave the light on.

I wanna love
I wanna live
I don't know much about it
I never did.
17 and I'm all messed up inside
I cut myself just to feel alive
I leave the light on 21 on the run
On the run on the run from myself
From myself and everyone
I leave the light on, I leave the light on
Better leave the light on.

Cause I wanna love
I wanna live
I don't know much about it
I never did,
I don't know what to do, can the damage be undone
I swore to God that I'd never be what I've become
Lucky stars and fairy tales
I'm gonna bathe myself in a wishin' well
Pretty scars from cigarettes
I never will forget, I never will forget
I'm still afraid to be alone
Wish that moon would follow me home
I leave the light on
I ain't that bad I'm just messed up
I ain't that sad but I'm sad enough
God bless the child with the dirty face who cuts her luck with a dirty ace
She leaves the light on, I leave that light on
Yeah. *nods*

I guess it's all there for the takin'
I think it's all yours & mine
My preacher says i got to see it to believe it
And l believe
Won't sleep till i've had enough
I believe won't sip my wine from no paper cup
I believe won't sleep till i've had enough.

Delicious surprise
Now i do believe
No fear in my eyes
Now i can see

Heaven's inside inside inside
I knew it all the time
Got me somethin to believe in
But all i really want now is
A handful of salvation

Mmmhmm. Amen sister. She is one of those artists who is the music. You watch her with her guitar or her piano, especially during like 'Hiding Under Water' or 'Leave the Light On' and you can totally see it. She's not an incredible voice, she's just a naked soul on stage. And I love that.

Vayne/Aurora/Enigma 5.19.2005

As you can see from the main page of S-C.com, most of my updates lately have involved scribbles about Vayne. She was my first 'evil' character on SF, and because I didn't want anyone to associate the player of dear, sweet Milla with nasty, bitchy Vayne, I created a new log-in name (Lourdan Hazei being my 'main' account) ... SporkDork. Why? Because I was eating KFC Coleslaw with one of their nifty spoonforks. A spork. And since I am a self-admitted dork... It fit.
Vayne was named after the evil character in my Madaya books. In the book she the daughter of Callantha and some Secubant mage - the half sister of Shalisa & Summit. Anyway...wicked woman there. I liked the name so much I gave it to my little elf (my first elf, for that matter) ranger. She came to Nesm� with Emy's secret character Shedara Ders. She abandoned Shedara after a few hours of playtime; I kept playing Vayne because being a bitch was so much fun. Her original class was ranger, with the intention of becoming a blackguard later (which I liked so much, a year later I made Conrad Diallo into the combo). But it didn't work well for her personality, so I remade her as a fighter intending to go blackguard. Then she met Raven (Daniel's character) and history was made. He trained her body and she went Weapon Master, and taught her rogueish skills (she picked up some rogue levels along the way). He also introduced her to Bhaal, the God of Murder, and thus was born the 'woman of faith'.
If you read all the new 'prequels' about her, you'll know more about her than I knew when I created her (via 1), and then more than most players knew about her...even now. But I am pretty happy with the chronicals of major turning points in her life. Especially 'Unchained'. I love 'Unchained'. I am proud of her 'farewell' to being Vayne. She was then swept up by Lathander. She serves Him, but it is a grudging respect, not a full-on dedication as she felt for Bhaal's focus. One day, she will tire of slaying the Undead and trying to help idiots (which she does, often with a slap for being stupid), and she will be reborn again.
Her current incarnation is called Aurora (poetic, no? For a follower of Lathander?) but she prefers the name Darias gave her recently, 'Enigma'. She feels that she always was one. She didn't fit into the pattern of life with her brethren as a young elf; and left. She has always lived by her own rules; doing what was necessary - anything - to get what she wanted or needed. She respects truth above all else, and has no use for those who deny themselves. Except, perhaps, the aforementioned Darias. She thinks that though he is in denial, and lying to himself, he is an intelligent, witty, brute of a man. Once upon a time she would have bedded him. In another life, she would have killed him. But times being what they are, and as she is a 'good' aligned bitch now... she has to content herself with amusing battles of words and wits.
Or, that was what she had to content herself with. James (Echo56) retired Darias today (*sob*) and the latest post about her, will in fact be the 'goodbye' I wrote this afternoon. I like the closing lines so much I will post it here.

She had never called him friend. She would have never called him master. And if the truth were told, she'd sooner have killed him than taken him to bed. Still, the woman who had gone by many names - though none so appropriate as the one he'd given her - was strangely sad to know that he was gone.
The moon stared down at her, eternally lonesome in its wistful orbit, and she sighed. Perhaps he, like it and she, were destined to walk alone. Kindred spirits, perhaps, but creatures of solitude....
So yes, Vayne/Aurora/Enigma is my latest obsession. I have always loved her, always feared that I could not RP or Write well enough to do her justice (for she is a character of many levels and much depth). And lately, thanks to James, I have become obsessed with writing about her.

Bowling for Soup 4.28.2005

You can always tell if I am truly obsessed with something by checking my ebay account. Back in the day, it was Sailor Moon merchandise. Now, Bowling for Soup promo CDs, kitsch, memorabilia...whatever.
I don't know what it is about these crazy punk rock/pop rock guys - but I am absolutely in LOVE with them. They have witty, funny, and sometimes even intelligent lyrics that I find myself singing while I roll dough everyday.
I first heard them while living in Spokane; my favorite radio spana there loved the single 'the Girl all the Bad Guys Want' and she played it all the time. I loved it. Downloaded it. Played it until Christopher wanted to strangle me. It wasn't until 1985 that I really started seeking and listening to as much of their stuff as I could. And every new song I heard, I adored. While I walking everyday, you're likely as not to see me bopping up the trail singing, 'It wasn't supposed to be like, another dose of unhappiness' or 'So when you're done doing whatever, and when you're through doing whoever, you know Daton county will be right here waiting for you' or even 'who almost went on to be Miss Texas, but lost to a slut with much bigger breastes'. Oh, and I love the trucker hat song, I don't understand why, but it makes me smile.
Yeah, yeah, sometimes its just silly/ridiculous. But how can you not love a band that name drops Pantera, Willy Nelson, and the Bush twins all at once? Or went out the window. Or wrote a song dedicated so much to me? The Bitch Song, yeah.
And if you watch their videos, I swear it just makes them look like they have so much fun. Rawr. And guys who make me laugh, or who have sense of humor, are hot. I would so do everyone of them (if not for Mark ;) anyway). So I am declaring Bowling for Soup an official obsession.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go check the post office for the third time this morning to see if my latest BFS purchase has arrived yet *wink*









Obsession of the Moment I have come to the conclusion that I have an obsessive personality. I get completely fixated, obsessed, and crazy about something/someone/whatever and dedicate myself to it. So I am creating a page to celebrate the fucked up personality flaw that so endears me to...um...myself. So from Sailor Moon days of yore, to SF now, and everything in between, this will be my little shrine to the uniquely Josie - Obsession of the Moment. Yay! Obsession: LOTRO November 2007 Mark and I played NWN for - literally - years. And had fun. Really, we did. But times changed, the sequel emerged as a big, flaming pile of Poo and we needed something new. Now, once upon a time, a younger Pheenie played Dark Age of Camelot (an MMORPG) and loved it. LOVED it. However, it was long dead by the time Mark and I went looking for something new, so we were forced to shop around. Tried DDO (Dungeons & Dragons Online) and hated it. Refused WoW (World of Warcraft) on principle. Couldn't see shelling out money for all seventy-five expansions for DAoC, even though I knew I had liked it in the past. So - what were we left with? Oh yeah, Lord of the Rings Online. My boy is a big ol' Tolkien fan from way back. I've listened to he and Ralph discuss the finer points of the extensive lore for hours in the past. But I've never gotten around (or been able to afford to buy the collection) to reading them all (yes - I know, what kind of self-respecting nerd hasn't read LOTR?). I was leary. But the game is so incredible, from the lore to the lush landscapes, to the fun fellowship trials. And its not the mindless grind you expect from these old-school MMOs...where all you do for hours is 'farm' by killing monsters over and over and over. A quest-driven MMO, like LOTRO, does involve lots of monster-bashing, yes, but most of your XP comes from completing stories. Because we've played SO much in the two or three months we've had it, I had to qualify this as an obsession. Neither of us are to level 50 yet - because its not the destination in this game... it really is the journey. Mini-Obsession: Firefly August 2007 As many of you knew long before I did, Joss Whedon is a peculiar kind of genius. Buffy captured my little Josie heart in a way nothing should have, and when it was over (well, the DvD collect Jasmine lent me when they lived with us this spring) I was sad. Well, I saw and loved the movie Serenity, but never watched the show associated with it. That little problem has now been fixed. Mark and I rented the discs via Netflix and I must say that if I had watched it when it was on - I would have died knowing it ended with so many unanswered questions. I loved it so much. The writing was crisp and funny, the characters were whole and loveable, and damn it - Joss Whedon I <3 you! When did I become such a fan-girl? Oh yeah, 1997...May. When the Internet opened for me ;) Fanlistings May 2007 As this very page is tribute to, I have an obsessive personality and the whole internet is made for me. I am a very, very, very late comer to these silly things - the premise is so simple - but I'm feeling an addiction build up. I want to own some. I want to join more. The first I joined was Alyson Hannigan, then Willow, and so on and so forth. Now I've got twenty and as soon as I have time to jump around, I'm sure I'll find more. Oooh! I absolutely need to find one for my first obsession on this page - Bowling for Soup! Or make one! rubs hands together evilly Yay! Whoreson Most of 2006 I have always loved Fantasy novels. The more epic, the better, in my eyes. I hope Whoreson, which I fear to write about anywhere online, will one day be something epic. I even went so far as to buy a crappy old laptop off Ebay and now I carry it to work each day (plug it in at my desk, cuz the battery only holds power for about an hour) and type during my breaks. Hells, one night I had to pick up Mark after work and he got delayed for two hours, so I spent the time in the Wendy's next door, laptop plugged in, typing and typing... Mm. There are some characters I love, and I have a lot of the plot fleshed out already (rare for me) so I think its go potential. Writing a Screenplay 11.2006 There's never been a story quite precisely like the one Mark and I have collaborated on. There will be gore and lust and killing and kissing and even Shaun of the Dead will have nothing on us ;) Mm. Its been fun so far, just learning the format and getting the dialog going. His poor, sweet, Christian mother was HILARIOUS (and had some great ideas) when Mark started talking the nitty-gritty details over a quiet night out for steak... I can't wait to see how this project progresses! Building a Mod for NWN 6.05.2005 Honestly, this is a brand new obsession, but it is definately 'of the moment' and I am definately preoccupied with it. From constant playing NWN to constant building of a new world, a new mod. Originally Emy, Mark and I were going to join forces with Wolfie, Fire Water, and co., but that plan has been scrapped, it seems. Instead, 'the Whiteoak Arms' my big, beautiful boarding house (featuring Shalisa Whiteoak as the proprietess, her half-dark elf daughter Niveah as the barmaid, and Shal's second husband A'traiylu the dark elf as the mysterious man downstairs) will be added to Emy's Northern Frontiers mod. I've got the house itself, three levels, a quest, three merchants, the passages beneath the house that lead to the Settlement, an area beyond it with Illithids and a second quest, and I think that's it. After a week of building and experimenting and failing and succeeding...that's it. Four completed areas. Minus the encounters because I need to fix my custom shit first. Mini-Obsession: Beth Hart 6.05.2005 I call Beth a mini-obsession because she's also a new and unestablished obsession. However, two weeks ago I was at Tim's and he made me watch a bit of her dvd Live at the Paradiso. She has such soul, and such incredible songwriting. I call her a new obsession because after hearing two tracks of the dvd, I went home, ordered it off ebay, and watched it twice today. I seen myself with a dirty face, I cut my luck with a dirty ace I leave the light on I went from zero to minus ten I drank your wine then I stole your man I leave the light on, I leave that light on. Daddy ain't that bad he just plays rough I ain't that scarred when I'm covered up I leave the light on Little girl hiding underneath the bed was it something I did Must be something I said I leave the light on, better leave the light on. I wanna love I wanna live I don't know much about it I never did. 17 and I'm all messed up inside I cut myself just to feel alive I leave the light on 21 on the run On the run on the run from myself From myself and everyone I leave the light on, I leave the light on Better leave the light on. Cause I wanna love I wanna live I don't know much about it I never did, I don't know what to do, can the damage be undone I swore to God that I'd never be what I've become Lucky stars and fairy tales I'm gonna bathe myself in a wishin' well Pretty scars from cigarettes I never will forget, I never will forget I'm still afraid to be alone Wish that moon would follow me home I leave the light on I ain't that bad I'm just messed up I ain't that sad but I'm sad enough God bless the child with the dirty face who cuts her luck with a dirty ace She leaves the light on, I leave that light on Yeah. nods I guess it's all there for the takin' I think it's all yours & mine My preacher says i got to see it to believe it And l believe Won't sleep till i've had enough I believe won't sip my wine from no paper cup I believe won't sleep till i've had enough. Delicious surprise Now i do believe No fear in my eyes Now i can see Heaven's inside inside inside I knew it all the time Got me somethin to believe in But all i really want now is A handful of salvation Mmmhmm. Amen sister. She is one of those artists who is the music. You watch her with her guitar or her piano, especially during like 'Hiding Under Water' or 'Leave the Light On' and you can totally see it. She's not an incredible voice, she's just a naked soul on stage. And I love that. Vayne/Aurora/Enigma 5.19.2005 As you can see from the main page of S-C.com, most of my updates lately have involved scribbles about Vayne. She was my first 'evil' character on SF, and because I didn't want anyone to associate the player of dear, sweet Milla with nasty, bitchy Vayne, I created a new log-in name (Lourdan Hazei being my 'main' account) ... SporkDork. Why? Because I was eating KFC Coleslaw with one of their nifty spoonforks. A spork. And since I am a self-admitted dork... It fit. Vayne was named after the evil character in my Madaya books. In the book she the daughter of Callantha and some Secubant mage - the half sister of Shalisa & Summit. Anyway...wicked woman there. I liked the name so much I gave it to my little elf (my first elf, for that matter) ranger. She came to Nesm� with Emy's secret character Shedara Ders. She abandoned Shedara after a few hours of playtime; I kept playing Vayne because being a bitch was so much fun. Her original class was ranger, with the intention of becoming a blackguard later (which I liked so much, a year later I made Conrad Diallo into the combo). But it didn't work well for her personality, so I remade her as a fighter intending to go blackguard. Then she met Raven (Daniel's character) and history was made. He trained her body and she went Weapon Master, and taught her rogueish skills (she picked up some rogue levels along the way). He also introduced her to Bhaal, the God of Murder, and thus was born the 'woman of faith'. If you read all the new 'prequels' about her, you'll know more about her than I knew when I created her (via 1), and then more than most players knew about her...even now. But I am pretty happy with the chronicals of major turning points in her life. Especially 'Unchained'. I love 'Unchained'. I am proud of her 'farewell' to being Vayne. She was then swept up by Lathander. She serves Him, but it is a grudging respect, not a full-on dedication as she felt for Bhaal's focus. One day, she will tire of slaying the Undead and trying to help idiots (which she does, often with a slap for being stupid), and she will be reborn again. Her current incarnation is called Aurora (poetic, no? For a follower of Lathander?) but she prefers the name Darias gave her recently, 'Enigma'. She feels that she always was one. She didn't fit into the pattern of life with her brethren as a young elf; and left. She has always lived by her own rules; doing what was necessary - anything - to get what she wanted or needed. She respects truth above all else, and has no use for those who deny themselves. Except, perhaps, the aforementioned Darias. She thinks that though he is in denial, and lying to himself, he is an intelligent, witty, brute of a man. Once upon a time she would have bedded him. In another life, she would have killed him. But times being what they are, and as she is a 'good' aligned bitch now... she has to content herself with amusing battles of words and wits. Or, that was what she had to content herself with. James (Echo56) retired Darias today (sob) and the latest post about her, will in fact be the 'goodbye' I wrote this afternoon. I like the closing lines so much I will post it here. She had never called him friend. She would have never called him master. And if the truth were told, she'd sooner have killed him than taken him to bed. Still, the woman who had gone by many names - though none so appropriate as the one he'd given her - was strangely sad to know that he was gone. The moon stared down at her, eternally lonesome in its wistful orbit, and she sighed. Perhaps he, like it and she, were destined to walk alone. Kindred spirits, perhaps, but creatures of solitude.... So yes, Vayne/Aurora/Enigma is my latest obsession. I have always loved her, always feared that I could not RP or Write well enough to do her justice (for she is a character of many levels and much depth). And lately, thanks to James, I have become obsessed with writing about her. Bowling for Soup 4.28.2005 You can always tell if I am truly obsessed with something by checking my ebay account. Back in the day, it was Sailor Moon merchandise. Now, Bowling for Soup promo CDs, kitsch, memorabilia...whatever. I don't know what it is about these crazy punk rock/pop rock guys - but I am absolutely in LOVE with them. They have witty, funny, and sometimes even intelligent lyrics that I find myself singing while I roll dough everyday. I first heard them while living in Spokane; my favorite radio spana there loved the single 'the Girl all the Bad Guys Want' and she played it all the time. I loved it. Downloaded it. Played it until Christopher wanted to strangle me. It wasn't until 1985 that I really started seeking and listening to as much of their stuff as I could. And every new song I heard, I adored. While I walking everyday, you're likely as not to see me bopping up the trail singing, 'It wasn't supposed to be like, another dose of unhappiness' or 'So when you're done doing whatever, and when you're through doing whoever, you know Daton county will be right here waiting for you' or even 'who almost went on to be Miss Texas, but lost to a slut with much bigger breastes'. Oh, and I love the trucker hat song, I don't understand why, but it makes me smile. Yeah, yeah, sometimes its just silly/ridiculous. But how can you not love a band that name drops Pantera, Willy Nelson, and the Bush twins all at once? Or went out the window. Or wrote a song dedicated so much to me? The Bitch Song, yeah. And if you watch their videos, I swear it just makes them look like they have so much fun. Rawr. And guys who make me laugh, or who have sense of humor, are hot. I would so do everyone of them (if not for Mark ;) anyway). So I am declaring Bowling for Soup an official obsession. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go check the post office for the third time this morning to see if my latest BFS purchase has arrived yet wink	Navigation Home About Journal Photos Obsessions Et Cetera Also by Pheenie Scribbles Fanlistings Misadventures Dead Legends Broken City Elsewhere Blogger MySpace E-Mail Me